Our plan was that we would start our adoption proceedings in January 2010. We are moving next month (from West Coast to East Coast) and we figured that would give us time to get settled, save money, and for Pickle to turn a year old thus making us eligible for more children. There were still a lot of uncertainties that we'd even be able to start at that point because of some stuff in my husband's career that we knew was coming, but we didn't know exactly when. So I was waiting and practicing my prayers and patience.
July 29: I was looking around the website of the agency we are going to use and I was looking at their Waiting Child Program. I've looked at this program before and while we were/are certainly open to a waiting child we didn't think that we'd qualify for many of them for various reasons. However, this hasn't stopped me from reading over the profiles of the children and having my heart ache with sorrow that these kids aren't in families already and that they will generally wait longer to find families. Every child deserves to have a family. While I was looking through the profiles I came to the profile of a little girl. I had read it before, but this time when I read through it, I got chills. I don't know why, but there was just something about it that resonated within me. It wasn't even an emotional reaction to a sweet face because there wasn't a picture posted. I'm certainly not saying that my "chills" were a sign of destiny, but I was certainly moved in a way that I haven't been before.
This little girl had a medical condition. I started doing my research about it. I sent an email to my husband at work with her information. He started doing research on the medical condition. Later that day we sent an email to the WCP (waiting child program) and asked for more information about this little girl and if there was anything else they could tell us about her. We got a reply that we could certainly view her file, but we had to join the WCP officially first. We talked about it more and did more research the rest of the evening. Late that night we decided to go ahead and join the WCP! There was a small fee required at this step and in his first act of adoption provision I checked my paypal account and found that I had more money saved up than I previously thought and there was enough to cover the fee so that it wouldn't even affect our family's finances. We join the program and I send another email letting the worker know that we'd joined and that I was desperate to see her information as soon as possible. :) I am going to be so high-maintanence during this process, I can't even help myself.
July 30: I get an email in the morning thanking me for joining the program and saying that it generally takes a day or two to review the applications and she was going to try and get it done either that day or the next. It's all very reasonable if not what I want to hear. :) It's my birthday as well and I "celebrate" by going to the dentist to be tortured.
On my way out of the office I get a text message from my husband saying, "I have pictures of little XXXXXXXXX" (sorry, can't tell you her name). That makes me smile despite being at the dentist. I hurry home...while carefully following all proper traffic laws... and the internet has stopped working. I sulk for about twenty minutes and make my husband tell me about the picture and tell me everything that he talked about with the case worker who had called the house. He dutifully reports the details and we continue to talk about the medical condition.
The internet starts working again and I get to see her sweet little face. I read the files attached about her history and the medical condition and her development. I research and research and research. My husband and I keep talking about everything. There is so much to discuss, so much: adding a child to the family, adding a daughter to the family, adding a daughter to the family who has a medical condition, what is our responsibility to our sons, what would her treatment look like, what is the prognosis, how will this affect the family, what about her age, what about issues A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I.....Z?! There's a lot to talk about.
July 31: We are still talking about all the issues. We could probably talk until our dying days and not cover all the possibilities, eventualities, maybes, and scenarios. We email the worker with a few more questions that we've come up with, and ask for additional information. I think we might be leaning toward a yes, maybe, possibly, we still have concerns, but we are truly searching. We get an email back saying that they were able to get information that we asked for (that we didn't think they'd be able to get) and tests were repeated and SHE IS HEALTHY!
We have a phone call with this worker who is so patient and supportive of all our questions. We get a few more answers. We thank her profusely and let her go home for the weekend. :) We continue to talk about the issues, but now they're issues minus medical issues. We decide. We are moving forward, pursuing this sweet little girl. We send an email (unfortunately after business hours) stating our intent, our desire to make this little girl our own.
Of course, (and rightfully so) it's not that easy. There is a process and there is another family. There are no certainties except that God is at work and is blessing this little girl with two families beyond her birth family who want the best for her. I'll post more on the process tomorrow. I'm going to leave this entry here with the hope and the prayer that this sweet little girl will be brought into the best family for her, whether that is us or not we are thrilled that she is healthy and that she is a few days closer to being loved again.