Homestudy Paperwork Update

In Maryland this is the list of paperwork that has to be completed before you can start the interviews for the home study. There are a few more that we have to have before the completed study can be released. The crossed out ones are the ones that we have finished. Any applicable comments are below.

1. Marriage License
2. Doctor Clearance: Andrew
3. Doctor Clearance: Jamey
4. Doctor Letter that says Jamey's PPD doesn't mean she's still whacko
5. Doctor Clearance: Peanut
6. Doctor Clearance: Pickle
7. Application for Fire Safety Inspection
8. Application for Home Sanitation Inspection
9. Letter of Reference Received
10. Letter of Reference Received
11. Letter of Reference Received
12. In-person Interview of One Reference
13. Employment Letter with Lots of Specifics
14. Letter from the Bank that we're in Good Standing
15. Written Statement about our Plan to Provide Space for Little Miss
16. Documentation of Application for State/Federal Background Checks (fingerprinting)
17. Child Neglect Clearances
18. Jamey's Birth Certificate
19. Andrew's Birth Certificate
20. Peanut's Birth Certificate
21. Pickle's Birth Certificate
22. Summary of Driving Record: Andrew
23. Summary of Driving Record: Jamey

2: Andrew's medical clearance:  He had this done on Friday and was told that he has hypertension. WHAT THE WHAT? My husband is one of the healthiest exercisiest men I know. He's being retested on Tuesday and we're hoping that it was just a strange flukey day...

3-6: The rest of our medical appointments are for Tuesday as well. I'm anticipating some problems because when I was at our doctor's office last time they didn't seem particularly friendly or acommodating. Again, hoping it was just a flukey day.

9-12: I know that one of these is in the mail on the way to our homestudy agency. I was told another would be in the mail on Friday and I think the other one is being finished up and then the agency will schedule the interview. I was very lucky in that my best friend from my childhood lives in MD and is available to be interviewed. If we had moved somewhere where we didn't know anyone (as generally happens in the military, we'd be up a creek!) Of course, most states don't have this stupid requirment so thanks again Maryland.

16: Today Andrew and I were fingerprinted for our state and federal background checks and for our Gold Seal letter, which in the state of Maryland takes the place of a local letter of good conduct from the police. Why have something that could be done simply and for free when instead you could charge money for it and turn it into a bureacratic event? Thank you, Maryland. At any rate, it's done and we just have to hope that they're received back quickly.

At the advice of our social worker we were there before the office opened up, 15 minutes early, by the grace of God since Andrew had a physical recall from the Air Force at 6:10 am and we weren't even sure we were going to get to go at all. We did though and we were numbers eight and nine in line. It was a pretty easy process and took about an hour. The office had filled up by the time we were leaving and I bet it was going to take those people about 3 hours to get done! Blech.

23-24: Driving Records: These have me worried. We had to get these from Georgia, where our licenses are from, and we couldn't submit our request online because we don't actually live in GA anymore, obviously we can't do it person, and so we had to do it via mail. I'm afraid they're going to have some objection to us being out of state and just aren't going to fill them out and aren't going to tell us about it. It's been 11 business days and we've heard nothing. Please pray that these come quickly! In a few more days if we haven't heard I'm going to try and call and find out what's going on, but if anyone has ever had to call the DMV you know how much I'm wanting to do that....

After we get all our paperwork in and the reference interview done we are planning on probably having our homestudy fast-tracked (depending on what's remaining with our dossier) and then our interviews: 1 joint interview that will take about 3 hours, and an individual interview each, about 2 hours, then the study is written up, reviewed and sent to Holt. CAI will do this in an amazing two weeks. Then the whole thing has to be State Certified. We've heard this can be done a military notary, but are still trying to determine if that's accurate or not. It would REALLY speed up our process.

At the completion of the homestudy we mail it with our completed dossier to Holt. They review it and send it to Washington DC for Authentication. Then it gets sent to Ethiopia for translation and we start waiting for court date and then travel dates and then the first time that we get to kiss our sweet Little Miss.

So, that's where we are.

Introducing my Peanut

I do plan on keeping this blog fairly focused on adoption during our process and then branching out once we're all home together. "All home together" can there be anything that sounds better than that? I figure though that I can post the occasionally off-topic entry. And so today shall  be one of those days.

It is my Peanut's birthday. Three years old. The baby that made me a mother. Since you all haven't been here with us I'll sum up those years for you.

Months 0-12: "Survival". We were adjusting to parenthood, we were living far away from family, and my husband had a wonked out schedule (thank you Air Force). Oh, but the kicker, what we really needed to survive, what could have undone all of us: Post Partum Depression. I've been through some tough things in life, bad circumstances, people that want to undo me, but nothing has been harder than those first few months. Nothing. Ever. It was brutal. Heartwrenching. Agonizing. We perservered and came out stronger, better, and with a renewed sense of gratitude. This is something that I could talk about a lot, but not now.

Months 13-24: "Accomplishments". Toddlerhood is an amazing time, one of our favorites and this is really it really starts. There is so much being learned by both parent and child. It really is a time of discovery. Great stuff. I didn't think so at the time, but looking back we were really focused on what Peanut was "doing". We weren't obsessive comparing him to everyone else (we didn't need to because we knew he was the best...lol...), but everything was about signing, talking, learning how to stack towers, learning his colors, and alphabet, potty-training, etc. I don't think that's wrong at all, but it makes ot easy to lose focus.

Months 25-36: "YOU". I think that we've spent this past year really seeing WHO he is becoming, his personality, just really looking at his heart. I don't mean to sound like we haven't been doing this before or that we haven't appreciated his personality before, because really, he's hard to miss, but as he's getting older it's just so easy to really see him. And let me tell you: I love what I see in my little man. He is fabulous.

My Peanut is a fantastic little guy. I've always said that he has a "sensitive soul" and that remains true. He is very reactive/responsive to the moods of people around him. He is generous with his toys and if he's having a hard moment he usually only needs a quick reminder and he will share with his brother and figure out a way that they can play together.

We've really seen him grow into his role as a brother since Pickle has been born. Initially, he was slightly bored and disinterested with the baby, he didn't really want anything to do with him. We were careful to encourage him, but not to force him, and now they are truly little buddies. Peanut is tolerant of Pickle's pinching fingers and hairpulling, he laughs when he's being climbed on, he is distressed by his crying and is quick to "help him feel better". It warms my heart to see his sweetness with his brother. I can't wait to see him with his little sister. He loves to teach Pickle and he tells him the names of toys, shows him signs, and tries to help carry him! He has *never* intentionally hurt his brother and we really hope to continue to nurture their friendship as they grow.

Peanut is a lover and a fighter. He still is a blankie lover and loves his muffle (pacifier) as well even though we've limited it a little bit. He is a polite little guy and we're starting to understand about treating people respectfully and being kind. We're talking about Bible stories and "God is with us when we're scared" is a frequent conversation in our house right now. He is quick to say "bless you", "thank you" and "I'll help you". He's usually pretty compliant and is good at entertaining himself. On the other hand, he is used to things being done a certain way and he likes his routine and doesn't make the smoothest transitions, especially spur of the moment. He likes to know what we're doing next and then what and then what... When things don't go as he think they should or if we start to escalate a situation in a way that makes him feel pressured then watch out! If he is being backed into a corner so to speak he will come out fighting. But when treated respectfully with a good dose of grace, and given the opportunity to problem-solve a situation he can usually fix a situation and learn a lesson in a tearfree, tantrumfree way....mostly.... :)

Peanut appreciates his solitude. He likes to play independently with his trains, cars, and figures. He likes to read books. He likes to be outside playing and riding bikes. He is a slow-waker-upper and needs some space and a lot of food in the morning. At the same time he's really starting to enjoy playing with other kids his age and he LOVES to talk, full on conversations about anything and everything. He is not a snuggler except when he finds his way into our bed in the middle of the night and then he's a little heat-seeking missle with no regard for personal space.

All in all, I think he's just growing up to be a wonderful guy. He's a little bundle of contradictions and curiosities and I cannot wait to get to know him more over this next year.

Birthday Festival...long....

This entry is going to make me teary. Happy tears. Sad tears. Just a warning. My Peanut is turning three tomorrow. I just can't even believe it.

In our family, one of my favorite traditions (and no, it's NOT moving from state to state constantly!) is what we do about birthdays. We celebrate "birthday festivals". It's not a one day "by the way, you're special" nonchalant kind of yearly passing. We're talking about a week of concentrated "you are great and we are lucky to have you in our family" mini-celebrations.

Andrew and I started this event when we first were married and we still participate in our own birthday festivals, but now, we're getting to see for the first time our son be old enough to grasp the idea that this is about him and we are celebrating him and he is just glowing with this knowledge.

When it is your birthday festival there are lots of possibilities to have a good time. A birthday festival is not necessary an expensive event because showing someone how loved they are isn't a money-thing. For Peanut's birthday festival he got to stay up late one night and we had a Birthday Festival Movie night with brownies and popcorn. He's definitely been granted more chocolate kisses than usual, one for each year multiple times. We went to the store and he got to pick out a special treat. There's been a little extra one-on-one time with mom and dad. There's been walks in the woods, trips to the park, an extra cartoon here or there. We slather on the I-love-yous verbally and through our actions.

If it's an adult birthday the other adult goes out of their way to be thoughtful and kind and do special things. There is an added benefit of being able to "claim Birthday Festival". This means that if we're all hanging out in the living room and suddenly smell a dirty diaper and I don't feel like getting up to change it then I can "claim Birthday Festival" and Andrew will have to change it. :) If one night he comes home from work stressed out and doesn't want to fight the bedtime duties then he can "claim Birthday Festival" and go to the bookstore. Etc. Etc. Etc.

Since tomorrow is the big day I've been telling Peanut about how he was born and how excited we were to meet him and hold him. How we went for a long walk so that he would hurry up and be born. How we had Burger King for lunch. How we wrapped him up and held him so tight and he was a tiny little perfect baby.

I've promised him that tomorrow I will be a "yes-mommy" and unless his request would hurt someone that I'll say yes. We can walk in the woods, we'll bake his birthday cake, we'll go for a bike ride, play trains together, anything he wants to do. He is the star of the day. We'll buy him the dinner of his choosing. I expect him to eat nothing but cake for dinner anyway. :) Andrew went out after he went to bed and bought him a big bunch of Cars ballons that will surprise him when he wakes up. During his nap I'll put up our Happy Birthday banner and streamers.

This is Peanut's third birthday. Little Miss will most likely have her second birthday in Ethiopia without us. We're praying it's not so, but realistically, it could/probably will. Even if she were here with us it would all be very new and we'd have a very low-key Birthday Festival her. Her first real Birthday Festival will be her third birthday. As we prepare and have Peanut's festival I find my mind drifting toward Ethiopia. What will it be like to have our beautiful Little Miss home and have a birthday festival for a little girl.

I envision less red and blue streamers and more pink and purple. I see not Cars balloons, but...okay, I don't even know what kind of balloons girls have...but I bet not race cars! :) I hope we still can do collecting trips in the woods and fun in the park, but add in maybe a girly trip to have our hair done. I just want to be able to see the differences in having a girl, see where it is like having boys, teach my boys how to act around girls and my girl(s) how to behave around boys. I want my family to be together. I want to have girl birthdays and boy birthdays.

I want my family to start having birthdays!

Finally

WE GOT OUR PICTURES. FINLLY!! I'M RIDICULOUSLY HAPPY. YOU SHOULD SEE HER, YOU CAN'T, BUT YOU SHOULD!!!

Okay, calming down.

Wow, toddlers really know what they're doing. Whining works!!!

So, our sweet Little Miss: She is BEAUTIFUL. You don't even know. She has these very defined features, beautiful. Classic. I can't wait to kiss her face!

We got fourpictures. Two of them are the same pose, but I don't care. She is SO MUCH BIGGER!! I just can't even believe it. She looks so much older much less like a baby.

Her hair is growing in and she's got these darling little curls.

I am not going to survive this wait to hold her!!

So happy.

Sweet girl, I cannot wait to meet you. I love you. We're coming as fast as we can.

Bummer bummer bummer

I have to say I'm a little bummed right now. Not in a serious way, just in a minor disappointed kind of way and I wanted to vent so I'm posting it to the blog. :) I have another happier blog post planned for later today (I hope).

Now, on with my whining....For the complete experience please read this in the whinningest way you can. :)


We haven't gotten any pictures of Little Miss since August. I sent an email to Holt asking when we could expect to get some more. I read on "the group" a week before my request that they'd just gotten a ton of stuff from Ethiopia so everyone was hoping for pictures. I got a response back saying that they had just gotten a lot of mail and I could probably expect an update soon.

This is what has happened in the meantime: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOTHIIIIIIIIIIING!

No, that's not quite accuate. I keep hearing from everyone on "the group" about how they got new pictures! THEY got pictures and I DIDN'T. IT'S NOT FAIR!!!!!!!!!!! WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

I am VERY happy them. :) I clearly know that there's nothing like a picture to make your heart sing and make you want to cry at the same time. They're an incredibly powerful reminder of what you're working for and what's to come. But, I want one too!!!!!!!!!!!

EVERYONE HAS ONE BUT ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm pretty sure that's not entirely true, but really LOTS of people got pictures and I DIDN'T!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Taking a deep breath and collecting myself.

And now whining again:

There's a local group of people who have/are adopting from Ethiopia and they only get together every other month and they're getting together this Saturday and I want to go and now I can't!! I was so excited. I read these people's blogs and they "get it". I wanted to meet them. I wanted to eat Ethiopian food. POOR MEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

We have to go into Baltimore that morning to get fingerprinted because we can't go during the week, but we have little kids at home and we just can't be gone all day like that from 7am until 7pm. It just won't work. Now I won't be able to meet anyone until 2010!! That's not even this year! WAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Stink Stank Stunk!!

Neglect

Dear Neglected Blog,

I mean to update you every night and every night I'm exhausted and still going to bed with an undone to-do list. I have several bloggy ideas for you so don't worry, it will happen. One night I will either shirk my to-do list or will get it all done (most likely shirk), but until then be tough.

If you're very lonely check out these sites because they're cooler and more with it than I am:

Uproar Find your child an awesome one of a kind Christmas gift, because really, do we need to promote conformity and the Gap any more than we alread do?

The Terry Household Blog I know you read a lot of blogs, but you should read this too. A) She started doing giveaways and I won the first one :) and B) She's (they're) adopting a little boy from Africa and are an uplifting read

MamaEnat because I just have to put a shout-out out to my own shop. Every blanket sold is that much closer to Little Miss.

World Vision because really, we have so much, let's give a little bit back!

Good night, good luck, and some day my blog won't be so lame! :)