It's the little things

So, my last post made it pretty clear that big things make me happy.

But lots of times it's the little things that make me happy.

Little things.....

                     like.....

Pink sippy cups!

Until today we had sippy cups with rockets, fire trucks, dinosaurs, sports, frogs, green, blue, yellow, red, cars, trucks, animals, etc. What we didn't have was

Pink, purple, hearts, tea cups, stars, houses, dots, trees, and tea pots.

But now we do.

And it feels good.

??!! Answers

Man, some people can't take a joke! :) There were only a few comments after my post, but I did get an email or two threatening the loss of friendships and some friendly bodily harm. Poor me. Lol. It wasn't my fault that there was a time lapse in between posts.

This is what happened. A) I have two children who generally want attention and start to malfunction in the evening so there's always that early evening madness. B) My husband and I watched a movie together on the computer so I couldn't blog and write it. We watched "Horrors of Spider Island" by Mystery Science Theater 3000 and it was EXTREMELY funny. If that's your kind of humor I totally recommend it. It was probably the consistently funniest one that we've watched, and we've watched lots. C) I had to finish a blanket so that I could mail it out tomorrow.

So now, here I am, promptly as possible finishing my post. Aren't I a good little blogger?

Am I driving you crazy yet? :) It's a skill I've perfected growing up in a house of girls. I could go on, but I really want to tell everyone my news so now I'm going to quit being such a tease and get to it.

Today, we got triple-dosed with great news. I got an email from Holt (not an update) and it said that our ACCEPTANCE PAPERWORK was going to be delivered tonight. Thus far in the process we had been termed "selected" for Little Miss. We couldn't be officially matched because we didn't have a homestudy. Apparently, approving the home study was enough for Holt to be sure it was on the way. All we have to do is sign and notarize (because a signature would be so lonely without notarization...that's what I've learned in this process) the paperwork and mail it back to them.

WE ARE MATCHED WITH LITTLE MISS!

We knew it would happen, but we're so happy all over again.

It's kind of like a home-pregnancy test. You know it's correct and it's thrilling, but you get the same thrill all over again when the doctor confirms it. :)

And then, there was this little PS on the email. It said, "You have been given a GRANT!" And go ahead and subtract that amount from the total on the invoice.

And my husband and I were THRILLED. We had only inquired about a grant once a few months ago, briefly, but Holt remembered and they just gave it to us. And if you know anything about adoption then you know that every little bit is a blessing, and in our opinion, this was more than a little bit. :)

And let me share something about myself here. I have money issues. I have some good reasons for these and I have some not so good reasons for them. I am currently and have been for awhile working with God on these issues and what I know is that He has NEVER let me down. Times have been hard and might be hard again, but what I know without a doubt is that God is faithful and God is love. He takes my hurt and my failing and redeems me. Our adoption has been thus far andI hope continues to be an excellent lesson in trust even, especially, where it scares me the most: with our money.

I tend to either trust completely or cling completely. Lately, I've been clinging completely.

Just recently I've been challenged with this again. It seems like every up in our adoption recently has been tainted for me by this nagging cloud of "but we still have to pay for it". It was just this little bit of bitterness spoiling the sweetness of bringing home my daughter. And I didn't like it!

I decided I was going to change. Yesterday, I decided. I was reading a devotional and it had this little "Praise Prescription" to read aloud the last 7 Psalms every day for a week. I decided I would. I knew this was exactly what I needed. Remembering who my God was and choosing to praise even in difficult circumstances. This was exactly the prescription my stinky attitude needed.

I started this morning. I cried while I read. I recognized the biggness, justness, mercy, compassion, righteousness, faithfulness, and love of God. These things that stand true no matter what my circumstances. He is worth my praise and I was happy to give it. I praised him because I could trust him whether or not I can see the answers for our adoption, for our life, for whatever decision I need to make.

"It is well with my soul."

And so tonight, my husband is reading the paperwork. And what comes with acceptance paperwork is an invoice for the program fee. And I hear him calling me from the kitchen. He is excited. I think, "there must have been a picture of Little Miss in there that I didn't see."

No. He points out the program fee and asks me, "Is this right?"

And I say, "No."

Because it isn't right. Because I would know if there had been a reduced program fee. And there wasn't. She didn't have a reduced program fee. Except that it says that she does. Several thousand dollars. Gone.

I call Holt because I know it's wrong. Little Miss is healthy. There is no reduced fee for a healthy, sweet, beautiful, toddler, sweetheart of a little girl.

IT IS RIGHT!

When Little Miss came into care she was given tests like all the kids. Some of her tests came back positive that shouldn't have been. Those tests said that our Little Miss was sick. We knew this when we asked about her. Before we saw her sweet face we knew about what was going on in her body. We knew. We made our decision.

Little Miss was ours.

What we didn't know was that Holt reduced her program fee because she was sick. Somehow this wasn't put into her information. It was never given to us in any email, phone call, or transmittal.

We said "yes" to Little Miss.

Tests were redone.

 Little Miss was healthy.

Praise God. 

 Holt said "yes" to us as Little Miss' family.

Praise God.

And they decided, without us ever knowing, that since we were in process with Little Miss while she was sick that the program fee reduction, the one we still didn't know about would stand.

We found out tonight!!

The money that we didn't know where it would come from, the money that scared me until this morning, the money was God's all along and it was taken care of tonight.

We aren't "there" yet, but let me tell you what. The money that is left does NOT scare me. Once again God has shown himself faithful beyond my comprehension and I DO NOT DOUBT that he will provide the rest of what we need.

I can't think of a good ending for my post. I've been writing for 80 minutes now, trying to get this just right, and I just don't know how to end it. How about this?

"Great is thy faithfulness! Great is thy faithfulness! Morning by morning new mercies I see. All I have needed thy hand hath provided. Great is thy faithfulness, Lord unto me."

??!!

I'm just going to leave this little teaser post for awhile until I have time to post the whole thing. For now, unless there is a mistake we have had a very happy "What the what?!" experience here. And yes, it's adoption related. And no, it's not like she's coming home tomorrow or anything.

DONE

D

O

N

E

!

DONE! DONE! DONE!

DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE!

The home study that is!!

Melkam Genna!

(Merry Christmas...today...in Amharic)

Book Review: "Toddler Adoption: The Weaver's Craft"

Book: "Toddler Adoption: The Weaver's Craft" by Mary Hopkins-Best

Backstory: I read this a few months ago. I wasn't able to find it in-store at Borders. They offered to order it for me, which I guess is supposed to be customer service, but I just find it irritating, extremely irritating. Has anyone told them about the internet? Amazon.com? If I wanted to order it I would have done it all by myself from my house and have the book shipped to my house. What good do they think they're doing me? Anyway, Barnes and Noble had it in stock.

Why: I'm obviously very interested in books that deal specifically with adoptions for toddlers since Little Miss will be about two years old when she comes home. I find that in most general adoption books toddlers are sort of an afterthought or a benediction, "God bless you and good luck".

Pros: I like the title. I think she did a good job of talking about what is general toddler development and behavior because they're crazy little guys and stating that not everything whacko that they do is because they were adopted. The section about talking to friends and family and navigating their responses was good. I liked that she supported allowing kids to regress a little bit in behavior, catering to what feels like a need to them, and giving them room to adjust by advocating structure without rigid routines and without demanding specific behaviors or compliance from them.  I think that it would be really useful for someone adopting out of the current foster care system as she goes into some detail about ways to gradually transition a child into your custody and maintaining contact with their past.

Cons: I was reading this book when I came up with my motto "It's better to be scared than unprepared". While she says that not all toddlers who are adopted have attachment problems or disorders she certainly paints a picture of seriously troubled children from extremely impoverished background without any kind of quality care. A lot of her examples were really startling (and I've worked with kids with emotional and behavioral disorders) and were not presented in a way that showed the problem, what was done to address it, and then how it turned out. Mostly, it was just T.R.O.U.B.L.E. for parents and children alike. Pretty grim.  I do think part of this is because the book was published in 1997 (which sounds more recent than it really is!) and her references were from the 80's and early 90's. In this period of a time I think a LOT has been to educate adoptive parents and to improve the quality of care that many children receive. As I was reading the examples and the text I was trying to find a situation where the child had received the same type of background and care that Little Miss has and I couldn't find anything even close.

Overall: I do think this book was worth the read, but it was definitely scary in some parts. It sort of presents the worst-case scenario of adoption, I think, even if that wasn't the author's intent. There is solid information in it about toddlers, their development, and ways to help ease their transition into your family, but you'll have to wade through some scary stuff to find it. I like to go into situations overly prepared so I "enjoyed" reading it before Little Miss came home. However, I think it would be most useful to a family who came home and did find that they had some attachment and bonding issues. I don't anticipate it being a book that I turn to as a reference with Little Miss.

Score: 3.5 out of 5

So close to a homestudy

I just got an email from my social worker and she said that Holt approved our homestudy!!

This is great news. I was slightly worried about it because we had to get a waiver to use Creative Adoptions, Inc to do our homestudy. Since Holt hadn't worked with CAI before I figured they would be going over the study with a fine tooth comb to be sure it was right. This is good because we want it to be right, but it would have meant a delay.

At any rate, Holt gave us the A-OK on the homestudy! Unfortunately, it can't be "released" to us until they have our revised guardianship paper. We had that paper overnighted to us and we received it today and back in the mail to our social worker. If she has it by Friday then we can pick up our notarized and finished homestudy early next week!

So, what's next? Well, that will be another post. :)

Fives

I've said it numerous times on this blog that I want to be with my sweet girl by May for her second birthday. This is still possibly only in the most God-powered way, but I'm haning on to hope. In honor of May being the fifth month of the year and the fact that were selected for Little Miss FIVE months ago and especially (thank you Jen) in honor of this entire adventure making us a FAMILY OF FIVE I am bring you a post of fives.

Five Facts About My Adoption

1. Our social worker has the same name that we'll be giving Little Miss with a slightly different spelling

2. The document that got messed up is being overnighted to our house and should be here by noon tomorrow.

3. There are a lot of things that I haven't let myself do/buy/think about until we are done with the paperwork because there is still a part of my heart that is very very afraid

4. My motto when it comes to adoption reading is "It's better to be scared than unprepared". Anyone else have a rhyming motto? I didn't think so. :)

5. Her room was supposed to be purple like mine when I was little, but it's actually cranberry and light pink and a sage green.

Five Facts Not About My Adoption

1. The boys' room was done in a Zanzibar animal theme (recently) and I've (more recently) decided I don't like it anymore and am trying to think of a reason that my husband will find reasonable to re-do it.

2. I'm in the process of working myself up to beginning exercising...again.

3. I had mastoiditis in California and it was more painful than giving birth without an epidural. I swear. Truly.

4. I am very low maintanance as far as women go and sometimes wish I was higher maintainance. :)

5. I'm enjoying the process of making my Adoption Flag Blankets way more than I thought I would.

Five Pictures of My Family

Five Prayer Requests for Our Family

1. Patience and Steadiness for us through the rest of this process

2. Strength and Peace for Little Miss & her first mom as they go through the most difficult time in their lives

3. God's blessing on our finances

4. Our continued efforts to build a local and diverse support system

5. Adjustment (all the way around) for the boys while we're gone and traveling, for us while we're in ET, for the kids to all adjust to each other, for Andrew and I to adjust to three, for the 80 million things Little Miss will have to adjust to, for our immediate and extended families, etc and so forth...

Five Links You Should Check Out

1. My Blanket Giveaway at Kari's Blog

2. My friend Jen's blog is one of my favorites

3. Great parenting resource, this was INVALUABLE to me with our first baby

4. My facebook fan page. I'm trying to make this cool so any and all feedback would be fabulous!

5. In the mood for some online shopping? Find something that you'd never thought about buying before.

Blankie Giveaway

Kari, over at My Crazy Adoption is having a GIVEAWAY!!

Ohhh, ahhh, something free.

What is she giving away?

I'll give you a hint:

It's soft, snuggly, beautiful, handmade, for a good cause, and something very dear to my heart.

Have you caught on yet?

YES! It's my brand new GIANT ETHIOPIAN FLAG BLANKET!!

alternately

YES! It's my brand new GIANT COUNTRY OF YOUR CHOICE FLAG BLANKET!!

(some people don't adopt from Ethiopia)

(It's also Pickle's blog debut. Isn't he just so terrible terribly adorable? lol)

It measures approximately 31x34 inches and it so stinking soft that you'll want to take a nap with it yourself. Except that we all know moms hardly ever get naps so just go ahead and let your child have it. :)

The giveaway rules are easy-peasy.

1. Go to her blog

2. Leave a comment.

3. HURRY! It's only a 2 day giveaway!

For more information, or if you're not the lucky winner or if you need more than one or you want a little one or you have a friend who is adopting and you need a baby shower gift of the smaller size then check out my lovely lovely Etsy shop

MamaEnat

and while you're there check out the cool treasury that I made and support other Etsians.

And as a side note this is my 101 post. Yippee!

Little Bits

I got an email from my social worker last night (yes, Sunday night, the weekend of her vacation...LOVE HER) and our first draft of the home study is ready!! :) Now on to figuring out certification. The military is supposed to know how to do it and this would save us time. Some people have had lots of luck with getting this to work. Others have had it screw things up, a lot. What to do? What to do?


On another fun note: I made an Etsy Treasury. It's about Africa. Go figure!! Fun. Fun. Fun. So, I made the Treasury this morning, but my kids aren't dressed, my kitchen/house is a WRECK, I haven't had breakfast, etc, but I made a Treasury. :)

30 by 30

I saw this on another blog and due to a lack of adoption related information to share I thought I'd share my list. It is, as you might think, a list of 30 things I'd like to accomplish before I turn 30.

1. Have 4 kids (though there is a possibility I could feel our family is complete after Little Miss)
2. Go on a cruise
3. See the pyramids (you know, Egypt)
4. Publish a book (I've been pushing this goal back for years. I intially thought I could do this by 17...)
5. Have a cool, money-making, product reviewing, parenting focused, real life oriented mommy blog
6. Run a 10k
7. Skydive (I wanted to do this for my last birthday, but I was pregnant and that seemed irresponsible)
8. Decide if and what I will get a graduate degree in (an area of social work)
9. Speak conversational Spanish (I have/had great comprehension and a TERROR of speaking)
10. Take good pictures on purpose
11. Spend a weekend alone with my husband (hoping I win this raffle)
12. Meet Obama (Get my kid to sleep alone? Not possible.  Meet the President? It could happen!)
13. Publish an article in a real magazine (I have a few silly little things published here)
14. Exercise regularly
15. Have a dog
16. And a cat
17. Volunteer somewhere regularly
18. Take another spinning class
19. Know more about the world (general enough for you?)
20. Read biographies
21. Be skinny
22. Have noncheapo loser clothes
23. Go on dates with my husband
24. See a play
25. Be in charge of something (other than my children)
26. Be out of debt
27. Have a garden
28. Have sexy legs (I know it's shallow, but I don't care)
29. Learn digital scrapbooking
30. Be more organized

So, that's me. Anyone else want to chime in with some goals that correspond with your next milestone?