Fives, take two

I wrote the first post about Fives and it just seems fitting to write another one today. 

It is five days until I leave to start my physical journey to my daughter. 

I have a hard time really believing it. I know, but it's hard to believe. 

For months and months (years for some people) adoption is the crazy trip of chasing this child that you love, but who feels like a beautiful figment of your imagination. At some point, I at least, became "comfortable" with the idea that this wasn't ever going to happen and it was just a never ending process. And now it's happening and I feel like I'm stepping into an alternate reality. 

Five Facts About My Adoption

1. We will meet our daughter on the 40th week exactly from the day we started our adoption process, 40 weeks from the first time we saw her face. This is less time than it took for me to get Pickle into my arms. 
2. We're still not  exactly sure what we're going to do with her name. We thought we knew, but I think at this point we're going to play it by ear and see how it unfolds when we're with her.
3. I feel unprepared for the "technical" aspects of bringing home Little Miss. I think I'd feel like this no matter what, but my biggest advice for people would be to get ready before you think it's necessary. I'm doing three months of preparation in thirteen days. I don't recommend it. 
4. I am zero percent packed. Read that again. Zero. I'm still making lists!!
5. Our tickets went up about $300 each overnight. I wasn't happy about that at the time, but those were for the flights flying out of Europe and with the whole volcano thing going on I'm very glad we're not flying out of Europe now. 

Five Facts Not About My Adoption

1. I got a haircut a week or two ago and I hate it. I really liked the new place that I went, I really liked my stylist and she did exactly what we talked about it. I just hate it. 
2. I am now a minivan driving mama. I am also now a car-payment making mama. Sad faces all around.
3. I am contemplating taking the entire family "all natural" for soap, shampoo, and skincare. I'm pretty sure I can't afford it, but I'm going to look into it when we're settled. 
4. I bought Peanut a very cool little toy today for while we're gone and he's going to love it. 
5. I do not recommend the Starbucks "Dark Cherry Mocha". I'm very sad that I wasted my limited Starbucks opportunity on it.

Five Pictures of My Family

(no, I still can't show off Little Miss)

Five Prayer Requests for Our Family

1. My peace of mind to leave my boys. I'm a wreck. Wreck. Wreck. Wreck.
2. Travel mercies that Andrew and I stay in good spirits despite jet lag, stress, and rushing, safe flights, no missed connections, no lost luggage, an easy flight with Little Miss, and anything else good that you want to throw in there...we find a winning lottery ticket, or get bumped to first class, whatever... :) 
3. Pray for Little Miss that she can understand what's happening to the best of her ability, that she trusts us, attaches quickly, gets along with the boys, and adapts to the biggest change in her entire life
4. A relatively smooth adjustment period for our family to each other, grace for Andrew and I with the addition of another child, that we can find a new equilibrium quickly
5. That I can get ready to go without forgetting anything and without going crazy.

Five Links You Should Check Out

1. My facebook fan page! My etsy shop is temporarily closed while we're in this transition phase. You can keep up to date with what's happening in the meantime with blankets, giveaways, etc through my fanpage.  
2. These are some of the coolest adoption t-shirts I've seen yet. You know you'd like to rock one or two out!
3. This is the first hair product that I bought for Little Miss. I cannot wait to review it!! I bought "Twist of Fate". 
4. This is the shop that I bought my first pieces of "hair art" for Little Miss. I got 5 headbands, plus a big beautiful flower for $5.00. She also liked my story of rushing to get them here in time so she tossed in an extra headband and a bow. 
5. Here's a giveaway and a chance to buy some cute Ethiopian hair bows from an adoptive mom to be.

My name is Jamey and I am a housework-shirker. 

Seriously. This isn't some kind of false modesty like a movie star complaining about their body.

I get that they're "only human", but until they're trying to decide between a size ten and size twelve pair of jeans from Old Navy while the baby cries in the stroller and the toddler keeps unlocking the door while loudly asking you about your undies I don't want to hear it and I don't care about their "pressure". 

Just sayin'.

I don't like housework and my house shows it.

Please understand, no one needs to call child protective services on me, but most days I wouldn't want the President to drop by for tea (although I REALLY want to meet him...anyone have a connection for me?), I don't want my mother to stop by for a chat (though she lives 7 hours away so if she did show up I'd let her in), I am happy to have friends over, but I need advance notice, and I feel "relief" when the boys are crabby/enlessly needy because it gives me an excuse to have not kept the house clean that day.

Here's the thing:

I WANT to live in a neat house.

I just do NOT want to clean it myself.

What are your memories worth?

A warm hello to the entire Zehlahlum Family and the wonderful people following the beautiful story of their adoption and family happenings through this blog. My name is Andy Rea, and I had the pleasure of meeting the family in Marina, CA while attending Mosaic Church. I was recently asked by Jamey if I would be a guest blogger to offer up tips or advice in regards to capturing family memories, whether it be photographs or videos. I am a photographer of 10 years and I would love to take this opportunity to share with all of you some words of wisdom to help you capture special moments of your family and keep them forever. Forgive me if this post is too long but it's really important info for everyone to know.





I also have two little ones, Angelina Grace (6) and Elijah Marcus (4) and believe me when I say that I COMPLETELY understand how hard it is to capture images of your own kids. I also know how rewarding it is to capture beautiful memories and see them for many years. I would love for you to read this and try to implement what I will mention shortly and simply keep working at it. Kids are notorious for being silly as soon as that camera is facing them or they strut their stuff like they're walking on a NY runway. Those images are cute but they can get boring if that's all they do. What you really want is their sincere smiles and laughs bursting out from the depth of their bellies. You want candid images of them playing and having a wondering time being exactly who they are! You probably don't want images of them always posing, right?


Tid Bit of Wisdom #1 - Make them get used to the camera!!!


Don't randomly pull it out only when they are doing something cute because then you've changed the dynamic of the silly situation. Basically what you need to do is bring the camera out as often as possible so they begin to completely ignore that it's even close to you. In this manner, you will quickly begin to realize that you can take it out, turn it on, and fire away. After doing this for a week or two, they will be completely oblivious to the camera (unless they're destined to become a model and they will NEVER stop posing...NEVER)!


Tid Bit of Wisdom #2 - Get your head out of the clouds!!!


Get down to their level...seriously...get down on your tummy right now and call out to your kids to come to you, right now. They will probably walk into the room and lay right down with you and begin a conversation about how Fruit Loops float really cool in the toilet. I know it sounds silly but you really need to get engaged in their situation or playtime to truly capture their expressions and feelings and many times that means getting down to their eye level where you can see the happiness in their eyes and smiles. This is a perfect time for that camera to be ready! It won't happen from the sidelines.


Tid Bit of Wisdom #3 - This is the most important part of this entire post. Ask yourself how much the memories you have captured are worth to you. Let's change this up and let me ask you the question; "How much are your memories worth to you if you lost them right now?"

My guess is most of you would be devastated if you lost all your images. Do you have film negatives or digital negatives? In all honesty, it doesn't matter because they can both be ruined beyond repair, lost, go up in flames, stolen, and just about any other horrible thing you can think of. I really do mean to make this sound horrible and scary because I know too well the feeling of losing a wonderful image (or hundreds) or a precious video you can't get back.

A few key questions that need to be asked. Are you ready?

1. Where do you store you negatives, prints, or digital pictures safely? How much are they worth to you? Treat them as priceless and you will notice better protection of them will come naturally.


2. Do you feel that they are in an archival storage container? (Mainly for film negavtives and prints for this question)


3. Do you have ALL your digital negatives on only 1 hard drive?


4. Do you consistently download your digital camera card or take your negatives to get scanned?


5. Do you perform backups of all your pictures or videos?


6. How much are you willing to pay right now if you lost all your images or videos?

Here's the game plan to get you prepared to have your images or videos forever. This will be a digital overview.

The #1 thing to remember is that hard drives are cheap nowadays...and I mean cheap! Try a local computer shop or store which may carry external hard drives. You may pay 5-10% more compared to online prices but your boosting local economy which may be worth more. If you want to save some money and in many occassions much more that 5-10% then you will have a large selection of online retailers to handle your need. Another good resource is Costco. They have great external drives at a very affordable price. It's much cheaper to backup your data than it is to try and retrieve it.


http://www.newegg.com/Product/Product.aspx?Item=N82E16822136399 - Use this model as a starting point. Great drive with lots of space, inexpensive, and great reviews.

When you have you new external drive, you are ready for the data transfer and it should be done immediately! If you have the means, I would HIGHLY recommend that you purchase 2 external drives. This is why...most people will keep their data on their computer and then back everything up to their external and keep them right next to each other. In the event there is a fire, flood, or any other disaster you have now lost both! Keep one with you and another backup with a family member or at a friend's home. You can add security passwords to them so they are not accessed if you are concerned with privacy. The next best thing is keep your backup inside a fire safe. Pull it out every couple of weeks or once a month and redo your backup. Simply add it to your schedule and make it a priority. It is much easier to live with losing 1 month of memories than years of memories.


The other option which should be taken advantage of is online storage offered at very affordable rates. A good reliable place to start is http://www.mozy.com/. This can be used in addition to your local backup procedure.

I know this post was VERY long but I wanted to make sure I communicated the importance of preserving your memories and keeping them safe. I welcome any readers of this blog to contact me directly if you need help or advice with your film or digital archiving procedures. You can get in contact with me through my website or Facebook Fan Page.
Website contact form located at: http://www.andyreaphoto.com/
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Upcoming

So much happening this week. I'm still struggling with my emotions. Except I don't think that's fully accurate, I struggle with the dichotomy of my emotions. I'm happy to bring my daughter home, sad to leave my boys. I'm glad to be gaining a daughter, but that is happening at the expense of another mother.

Monday: You will be reading a lovely guest post by a friend of mine who is a photographer. I'm so excited to share this with you and I hope this will be a recurring event for Zehlahlum. Show him some blogland love with your comments and don't forget to let us know what you'd like to read about next.

Also on Monday I expect to buy a minivan. 'Nuff said. I think this is a pivotal point in my life. I'm sure I'll blog about it later. I'm sure you're going to be looking forward to that.... I will also be hitting Kohl's for some sales for Little Miss and me. :) Thanks to my traveling companions who offered to bring us clothes, but I think we've got it covered. I think we'll be introducing my sister to "Five Guys" this night too.

Tuesday I have my travel vaccines. A little late, but hey, this is how it works when you get 13 days notice. I'll be getting the vaccine for yellow fever and malaria medication. This will also be one week until we leave. I'm hoping to get some Ethiopian food to bring home to my sister this day, but I don't know if Dukem does carry-out. I'll have to check into that!

Wednesday I need to do some more things about the house...clean out Little Miss' closet, return some Netflix, return library books, and put away as many things as possible to eliminate the stacks and stacks of stuff in my house that just don't get put away when they should. I also need to make a massive grocery shopping list, do a big travel shopping trip with my husband at the PX. I also need to write a little note for my children for each day we're gone. I'll hold the tears at bay and tell us them how much fun they'll have that day with their grandma, how much we love them, and how soon we'll be home as a family.

Thursday I need to arrange for some groceries to be delivered while we're gone, do some packing, and hopefully go see a movie with my husband for the last time in months. :)

Friday will be for working on more things that I can't remember right now, finishing up loose ends, enjoying my boys.

Saturday I would like to do something with one of our last days as a family of four. I know that the change we are bringing to our family is good, but change is not easy and this will not be an easy change for our sons either.

Sunday my mother-in-law will be here to transition into caring for our boys while we are gone. Oh, my boys!! I hope to be able to attend church or small group this night, but I'm not sure how it will work out. This is the day that I will really start talking to my sons about the trip. They know that we are going and they know they are not coming with us, they know who is coming to stay with them and that we will come home with their sister. But this is when we will tell them "In two days, Mommy and Daddy..." Two days is all the firm notice that Peanut needs and Pickle will not even understand that.

Monday. I just don't know. I will be finishing everything up, tucking away the loose ends, and strengthening our resolve with hugs and kisses all day.I expect that I will vacillate even more so  between happy and sad.

Tuesday: I will want to spend every moment with my children, just gobble them up because I cannot fathom the distance that I will be putting between us. I am excited to see Dubai, I am desperate to hold my daughter. I will weep when I leave my sons, but hopefully not until I am in the car...