Diet Zehlahlum

Welcome to the Saturday feature at Zehahlum Family where you get the same great Zehlahlum taste that you know and love, but now with less thought... I mean calories. Presenting: Diet Zehlahlum. You'll never know what you're going to get maybe it will be pictures, maybe it will be funny things that my kids say, maybe it will be examples of my humorous attempts at Parenting, but whatever it is, it should go down nice and easy and won't settle at your hips!

Yes, those are old Halloween costumes they're wearing. Yes, Pickle is wearing a skunk costume. It was actually Peanut's first Halloween costume and I have a picture of me nursing him while he's wearing it. Pretty funny. Yes, Little Miss is dressed as a chicken and wearing a necklace. Don't be a chicken hater. Chickens can accessorize.

 Look, she's being calm and quiet! Woo hoo! She's reading the book I talked about in this post that is her current favorite. Please ignore the child in underpants wandering around the background. I'd say he's not usually like that, but it would be a lie.

He's just too cute to stand. Really, the picture could use a little touching up, but you're lucky that you're getting pictures at and if you want to complain about not having edited pictures then I can give you something real to complain about!

At first glance it looks like a happy picture, huh? Then you see the bags under my eyes and notice how tired I look. And then you'll notice that Little Miss is less smiling and more shrieking. Still we have far worse pictures. :)

Aww, see one of us is a good parent! Again, please pretend that my sons wear pants.

Sideways, I know. The point is my son is eating brown sugar out of the jar. Need a little pick me up, but too young for coffee? Try pure sugar!

Just a little more

In case you haven't heard I am helping a friend of mine fundraise for her adoption. Her family is adopting two sweet little eight year old boys. Really, it seems like a little help fundraising is the least we could do.

I know that I'm talking about this a lot, but truly, God has put this family on my heart and so I will keep harping reminding you that we are called to be God's hands and feet in this world. We're not called to be primarily Starbucks consumers or fashionistas (snort, snort). I do not think that we're all called to adopt. Nope. Since we're wading waist-high in adoption stuff I can truly say that this isn't for everyone. It's just not. Not everyone is called to be a pastor, a wife, a missionary, a doctor, a teacher, whatever. Everyone is called to something different. There are some things that we are all called to such as serving others. Each and every one of us is called to "love the Lord your God with all your heart, your soul, and your mind...and to love your neighbor as yourself".

We've had a good response from our fundraiser so far, but I don't think we're done yet! I am going to extend the fundraiser for a few more days and sweeten the pot. It's still a $5.00 donation, but now once you've made your donation you're eligible for an extra entry each if you repost on facebook, your blog, or twitter (if you're into that). Come back and tell me how many extras you get. Honor system! Also, if you want a country other than Ethiopia we can work that out so don't feel like you can't participate!

PS. My sister is offering a batch of homemade chocolate chip cookies to the winner as well! Mmmm!

4 month overview

So, we've been home for four months now which somehow works out to 18 weeks. I don't understand how that works. It confused me when my children were infants too. Higher math just evades me. And yes, the fact that I consider counting to be "higher math" lets you know how bad at math I really am. I have a learning disorder so you're not allowed to make fun of me. I was so relieved/vindicated when I found out that I wasn't "just stupid" that I cried. Too bad that I was already a junior in college.... Anyway, that's a huge tangent even for me. Moving right along...

Week 1: Awful, this is awful. I cannot believe how awful it is.

Week 2: THIS is awful. Way worse than last week. This is the lowest of lows. We are clearly in crisis.

Week 3: Running on sheer determination. Brutal.

Week 4: Every day is agony. We want to make it, but we are so unsure.

Week 5: Never thought it would be this hard at this point. There are fleeting peeks of happiness, but it's not enough. My heart just aches.

Week 6: I feel a slight sense of humor returning, but it's grim. I don't want this to be our reality, but it feels like there is nothing I can do about it. I'm living by the grace of other people's prayers for us.

Week 7: Everything is exhausting. Everyone's emotions are rampant. There is some "routine" to our day, but we are all still in the thick of adjusting.

Week 8: We are still making it day by day, but it's still a struggle. Simple everyday activities are now incredibly complex, she is still very overwhelmed by visitors and being out of the house.

Week 9: We go on our first visit to family. She has one moment of terror, but the trip (minus the traveling) goes well. Her boundaries while out of the home were not great, but better than expected and within manageable limits. 

Week 10: Our new status quo. Extremely hard, but manageable. Doing what we need to do.

Week 11: More of the same. We're just trying to get through. It's easier than the beginning, but yikes.

Week 12: This is when we first started to see some behaviors that looked hopeful. It wasn't just the cessation of bad behavior or managing negativity, but it was actually positive behaviors and moving toward attachment.

Week 13: Life is moving on. We're finding something feels normal-ish. We're getting a groove, we're all starting to understand each other and how to deal with each other more effectively. 

Week 14: We are making progress. For reals. It's happening. I feel my first real inkling of genuine love for this little girl. It is so time.

Week 15: KABOOM! There was an explosion of Little Miss and suddenly our house is chaos again. That first feeling of love is all but brushed aside in the volcano that is my daughter. We are back to wondering if our family is going to survive intact. It is so scary.

Week 16: Andrew and I "buckle down" again. Cue the "I Will Survive" theme music. We are Focused. We are Intentional. We are Proactive. We are freaking toddler Mind-readers. We are Fam-i-ly.

Week 17: And now we are tired. :) We keep at it and there has been some progress again. It's still harder than before, but it's going back up. The slightest relaxation of our standards (for ourselves) has a direct and negative impact on Little Miss.

Week 18: There have been some "dips" this week, but we're maintaining. We are on an overall upward trajectory. We still haven't made up all the ground that we lost at week 15, but we're close even despite the slips this week. We're hopeful that we're going to keep making progress. We are not where we thought we'd be at this point and we are certainly not where we had hoped to be at this point. But hey, what the hell can we do about it? I mean besides pray. We're all over that and we'll deal with tomorrow when it gets here. :)

“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” (Matthew 6:34 NIV)

Book Review: Mama Panya's Pancakes

Backstory: I was at the library for the first time with all three kiddos when we got this book. The fact that it is a good book was totally luck. It's not like I was searching for it and found it or like I had time to pick up a book and obsess evaluate it like I normally do.

Why: I saw it sitting on a display rack. I saw the pictures of Africa on the front and so I grabbed it and stuffed it in my bag.
Overview: This is the story of a mother and her son who walk to the market to buy flour to make pancakes. Mama Panya only has a little money to buy a little flour, but her son keeps inviting everyone that he sees to come and eat with them. Mama is worried that there won't be enough food for everyone, but he just keeps inviting people. Finally they make the pancakes and all of their friends arrive and each one has brought something to contribute to the meal and they all enjoy their feast together.

The end of the book is very informative, but not dry. There is a two page spread talking a little bit about village life in Kenya. There is also a list, picture, and definition of some of the plants and and animals that they see during their walk to the market. There is a page about the languages of Kenya and a list of words to try WITH pronunciations.There are some facts about Kenya and a map of the country as well. The last page is Mama Panya's pancake recipe to try for yourself.


Intended Audience: Peanut enjoyed the story and the colorful pictures while we were reading. It is a LOT of information in the back of the book and he kind of started to tune out before we got to the end, but he is only three. He liked the part that explained the things that they saw walking to market and he liked the map. He also loves to cook and he wanted to try the recipe right away.


My Thoughts: This was a GREAT book. I loved the message of the story about the blessings of sharing even when you don't have much and that it was positive the entire way through. I liked how the pictures were detailed and showed a good example about life in Kenya. The pictures are nice enough that I could sit down with Little Miss and Pickle and we could just look and talk about the pictures without reading the narrative. I LOVED all the information at the end of the book. I was learning things right along with Peanut.

This book makes me excited to homeschool. I see a lot of things that we could do with this book. Having read it already I'd like to go back through it again with Peanut talking as we go about the moral of the story. Another time I'd like to look and talk about the "Walking to Market" section and THEN read the book so we can look for the plants and animals that it talks about. Since he was interested in the map I'd like to print him out a map to color and we could talk about some of Kenya's features. (It borders Ethiopia, you know.) And of course, we need to make the pancakes for lunch someday.

I didn't realize it until I was doing this review, but the book is published by Barefoot Books. They have a great selection of books that I've looked at before online, but never have purchased one. In their own words they say, "We offer books that are an authentic alternative to the commercialization of childhood. We encourage children to make time for make-believe, let their imaginations run wild and free, while never forgetting that childhood is a time for fun." and "We help children explore other cultures, our planet, and themselves, providing them with ways to follow their imaginations on extraordinary journeys, both inner and outer."  And yes, I totally feel ridiculous for not buying their books before! Believe me, that is not a mistake I will make again.

I cannot wait to get my hands on more books from this company. I am so impressed!



Score:  6 out of 5. Seriously, perfect. Go buy some for yourself (and me!)

What goes around comes around

I have posted before about this family. I know the momma of the family. She's great. They are adopting two older boys. One adoption is expensive. Two adoptions are mucho expensive. I really really want to help them get these boys home. We had so many people who helped us bring Little Miss home. The way that each donation spoke to my heart was amazing. You Zehlahlum readers are great and here I am to mobilize you. Do you feel mobilized? Consider yourself mobilized.

Because I am an understanding sort I have something to sweeten the pot for you in case you need just a little bit more worthiness. Hey, we're moms, right? It can be hard to summon up energy to be mobilized! I am encouraging you all to make $5.00 donations between now and midnight on September 11th. At that point I will be hosting a giveaway for 1 large MamaEnat Ethiopian Flag Adoption Blanket for those who have blessed this family.

Please make your donations here and I will bless them with one lump sum.

Military Life

I'm going to apologize again about my lack of regular blogging. I'm having some sort of brain-block. I am also having a great weekend.  My little sister was here this weekend and even though she's skinnier, in better shape, and wears better clothes and make-up, plus showers on a regular basis we're having a very fun weekend. My kids are each and all a little discombobulated though so it's probably time for us to get back to normal. I'm also getting way fat from all the eating we've been doing... Dominos, Pizza, Burger King, Dunkin Donuts, Starbucks, Chipotle  and we won't talk about the drinking.... (If you're my mother or someone who reports to her please be convinced that I'm referring to WATER...)

Every time we have family come to visit or we go home and visit family it leaves me feeling bittersweet. My husband is in the Air Force and we don't live near family now and chances are we never will. In fact we're now about 7-8 hours away which takes us 11-12 hours to drive with children and this is the closest we've been since our first duty station.

When I see my kids with my family (and I'm counting Andrew's family as mine here too) it makes my heart hurt. Grandparents, aunts, uncles, gobs of cousins. They all love my children. My children love them. They love to play with them, the hugs, the kisses, the attention, (the over-indulgences) .... I think that this is how it should be (minus the over-indulgences). I think that kids should grow up surrounded by their families. I did. My husband did. It just feels right to know that you are in the midst of a group who will love you no matter what. One of my sisters has this life with her (our) family and her kids.

I think that the next best thing would be to grow up in a community of like-family. You are there for years, you have painted the walls and hung curtains. You're invested in the community because it is your community. You know the good restaurants, you haven't had to look for a church for years and years. The friends that listened to your dreams about raising a family are the ones who met you at the airport (or came to the hospital to visit) and they're the ones who have seen your children grow up. They knew you in your cool pre-baby life and they'll be the ones that you hang out with at high school football games and when you're old and gray. One of my sisters has this life with her family.

We don't have that life. Here is a record of our Christmases since we were married: Kentucky, Ohio, California, Texas, Georgia, Georgia, California--happy birthday Pickle--, Maryland. Unless something really freaky happens we should be here this year as well.

It's just so different than what I ever thought I would have in my life. A large portion of the problem with this is me. I am not a go-out-and-meet-new-people girl. Just typing that sentence stresses me out. I suck at small-talk. I'm bad with names. I'm a home-body. I don't join groups. I don't like crowds. I'm like the poster child for the anti-military wife. I have it on good authority that on first impression I seem like a snob. I'm quiet (until you get to know me) and just about as un-extroverted as you get. I do like people. I just don't like people that I don't know.

As you might imagine, I have a rather small circle of friends. Usually, I'm okay with this. Other times I find it a little more nagging, a little more haunting. This is one of those times. I freely admit that in this period of my life

I. AM. LONELY.

I'm guessing that a lot of this is coming up because I have a family and yet in the military it's hard to feel established. I have a serious case of house-lust. The people that I knew and loved when I was pregnant with Peanut are not in our lives now. Sure, we keep in touch, but it's not the same. I believe 100% that my home is where my family is and I will teach that to my children as we wander the earth. But I do long for roots for my children and more in-depth friends for myself. I want our lives to have a sense of history.

I do enjoy moving (mostly), but maybe not anymore now that I have three kids.... I do like knowing that I know people all over the country and beyond in some instances. I like the diversity of the military. I like seeing new places and having fresh starts.

But right now I long for depth. I want to have a friend come over who knew me when Andrew painted a jack o'lantern on my big pregnant belly for Halloween so that we can talk about how fast the kids grow over a cup of coffee while we talk about what color to paint my walls.