Technology

Welcome back to Diet Zehlahlum! The Saturday feature that from the Zehlahlum Family that you love because it's not your life! Diet Zehlahlum is "lite" on stress, seriousness, and thought. Please note that the title Diet Zehlahlum makes no guarantee that you will lose weight while reading. In fact, we recommend that if you want to lose weight you step away from the computer AFTER reading this post and try some jumping jacks or something.

Today's Diet Zehlahlum is about the ease of technology. 

Enjoy.

Technology makes our lives easier.

Simplifies it.

Isn't that the hype?

Then why for one little trip do I need

   my:

* GPS

* Laptop

* Kindle and charger

* Portable DVD player

* Camera with battery charger

*Video camera with battery charger

* Portable DVD player with car charger

* Leapster 2 with AC adapter & car charger

* Cell phone with car charger and inside charger

* iPod with car charger and inside charger and earbuds

Am I insane?

Is it just me?

Innocent Brainwashing

The other day I had the kids in the car and we were on our way home from somewhere (sidenote: is there anything better than having all your kids strapped into carseats? Even if they're screaming they are stuck! I love it.)

I was talking to Peanut about his upcoming swim class and the fact that he needed to listen to his teacher so as to not drown. I don't remember exactly what I said, but whatever it was I referenced the swim teacher as "he". 

(which I believe is the part that counts), but I think most Christians would tell me that I'm "liberal".


Peanut, being the child that he is who hears all and thinks about all, called me out on it right away. "How do you know my teacher is a boy?" I told him that I wasn't sure if his teacher was a boy or a girl, and that "it" could be a girl. "Mom, are you SURE that girls can be swim teachers too?" I assured him yes, girls could teach swim classes.

Since I have a daughter now and would rather raise sons that aren't idiot cave men I tell him, "Girls and boys can almost always do the same things." From there we played a silly game that only four year olds (and the moms that brainwash them) can appreciate. He would say, "Can boys AND girls be helicopter pilots?" and I would say yes. Then I'd ask him, "Can boys AND girls drive race cars? And he'd say yes. We went on and on for at least five minutes naming all kinds of things that boys AND girls could both do: drive a dump truck, pick flowers, be a construction worker, love their mommy (hee hee), ride in rockets, be the President, be in charge of a whole city, be a superhero, etc. We agreed that only girls could be mommies and only boys could be daddies, but girls AND boys could love their babies and take good care of them.

Then in true four year old fashion he took a nosedive into the goofy and gross: "Can girls AND boys be potties?!" And then he dissolved into laughter because what could be funnier than a potty?

I was about to...flush...the conversation when I had an idea. My brain said: talk about skin color. But I didn't want to do that. I always think, "Well, what do I know anyway? Oh, that's right. Not much." And my kids are little, 2, 3, and 4 years old so it just seems kind of weird and what if I do it wrong? I know my thoughts on race and diversity, I'm continuing to educate myself and trying (albeit it slowly) to expand my world and thus the world of my children. Shouldn't that be enough?

I know it's not enough, of course, it's not enough. And I need to learn to deal with this now because it's not a problem yet. If I can't talk about when they're preschoolers and it's not an issue how am I going to talk about it when my girl is a preteen and there IS a problem? Huh? Huh? Huh? Besides, that line of thinking is just ridiculous. I know how to read, I believe reading is good, thus I will teach my children to read. I believe in God, I believe believing in God is vital, thus I will teach my children to believe in God. I believe in the importance, the necessity of equality and respect for everyone, thus I have to teach my children. 


So with all of that happening in my head in a span of 2.1 seconds I put on my big girl pants and dove into the topic of preschoolers and race.

"Hey buddy. You know what else? Just like boys AND girls can do so many things that are the same and it doesn't matter, it doesn't matter what you look like on the outside either." 
He said "yeah" because he is a smarty-pants. I wanted to be sure that he actually understood so I started naming people he knew. "Like your sister. Your skin isn't the same as hers, but she can still do everything that you can do." He agreed again. We talked about a few other people that he knows who do not have white skin like he does: his cousin, our mother's helper, the Tongginator, his favorite Sunday School teacher, etc.  We talked about how they don't look just like him and they don't look just like each other. We talked about some people wear glasses and some people don't. Some people have big bodies and some people have little bodies. Some people walk and run and some people use crutches or wheelchairs (and maybe someday someone would let him ride their wheelchair with them...yikes!) Each one looks just the way God wanted them to look and the most important thing was having a kind heart.

And now, we've covered sexism and racism so we're good on those, right? Next up: world peace!

Seriously though...how do you discuss these things with preschoolers? Favorite resource?

Small Blanket Sale!

I have sold a lot lot lot of large blankets lately and so I have many beautiful fabric remnants that are just begging to be loved.

I am having a special clearance sale on SMALL blankets, your choice of country, of course. The blankets are on sale for $32.00 including priority mail shipping. 

(added...duh me...) 

The small blankets are approximately 15 x 18 inches. This is a great size for a baby or toddler. (My kids are 2, 3, and 4 this is the size they each have.) It's perfect to stuff into a purse or diaper bag, it's easy for a little one to carry around without tripping over it or dragging it through the puddles in a parking lot, and just the right size to snuggle.

 

The only "catch" is that I get to pick the fabric! You can tell me boy, girl, or gender neutral and I will do the rest from there. The flag is the front of the blanket and the "mystery fabric" is the back. I have bright colors, pastels, patterns, plain, flat minky, deep minky, bold colors, sweet colors, it's an entire first come first serve smorgasbord!

The flag itself is made out of fleece and the back is super soft minky. I know that I'm biased since I make them, but these are some of the softest blankets you will ever find! 

I am taking orders from now until March 9th and then will start filling the orders. Names will be put on a waiting list in order of payment and I will let you know when you can expect your blanket.

Looking forward to working with you all!

Jamey

Serious Change of Plans

A couple weeks ago my husband and I were in The City by ourselves checking out some museums (and walking around in the cold drizzle of rain looking for a hardware store so that my husband could fix our Jeep which had died...again... this time as we were turning into a parking garage).

We were discussing future plans (thereby assuming that we'd be able to fix the Jeep and leave the parking garage) and we were talking about something fun potentially happening in the months of April, May, or June. We were walking down into the subway and there was a man at the top handing out brochures. Most people were avoiding him, but hey, free reading material!

I am SO glad that we picked this up because it turns out that we'd have been wasting a lot of time and energy. I mean, I was worried about losing some weight and this, that, and the other, the whole "attachment challenges" thing. Pshaw.

DO NOT WORRY.


THE WORLD IS ENDING! AND I KNOW THE DATE!

Now, it is a little vague because it says that the May 21, 2011 is the "first Day of Judgment" when about "200 million people will be raptured into Heaven." I'm not sure what will happen to the rest of the world because it doesn't say right there, but earlier it does say that God "plans to destroy the world forever". I guess either that happens later or they just need to work on their English lessons because FIRST judgment (to me) indicates a second as well....

If anyone isn't just automatically convinced here is some of their stellar math:

The year of Noah's flood was 4990 B.C. according to their "careful study of the Bible" this was uh...confirmed (?) by a few like-minded people on WikiAnswers although there were a few dissenters who take the Answer in Genesis approach and say 2304 BC (plus or minus 11 years). Anyway, these people have a pamphlet so clearly credibility is on their side. So, they take 4990 BC date, extrapolate a verse from 2 Peter 3:8 where it says that "one day is with the Lord as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day", then go back to Genesis where Noah was told that he had 7 days before the flood started and since each day is a thousand years you add 7,000 years to that first date, subtract one year because there's no zero year on the calendar and you get TADA: May 21, 2011!

Also, not to worry, there are "several additional astounding proofs that May 21, 2011 is very accurate as the time fro the Day of Judgment".If you'd like something to make you roll your eyes more information feel free to hop over and check out their website and maybe sign up to drive one of their billboard vans around or join their time-limited mission trip.


Now you know. You're welcome!


PS. I do want to be clear that I am a Christian, have a personal relationship with Jesus (which I believe is the part that counts), but I think most Christians would tell me that I'm "liberal". I believe in the Bible and in judgment. I'm just not jiving with their timeline here.

And, while I don't find their ideas offensive (mostly I think they're just kind of silly) I was offended by something else that was prevalent in the tract. They spent a good portion of it talking about sins, judgment and death (of course). But whenever they talked about redemption or forgiveness it was always in this tentative kind of way.

"Maybe, since God is such a merciful God, He might forgive someone who is humbly pleading with God for mercy" and "Because God is so merciful, maybe He will have mercy on you."

THAT, to me, is the part that hurts people. Sure, you might get some egg on your face if you have a website that has a 2012 sign with the year crossed out because you don't think it's ever going to happen. But really? Not a big deal. "D'oh" and go on with your life. And maybe they're bilking people out of money, I don't know. But still, whatever. It's not the end of the world (giggle giggle).  

BUT, BUT, BUT, BUT!!!! Giving people the idea that if they ask for salvation and forgiveness that maybe they'll receive it, that is not okay. Do you know how many people who have been hurt by rejection and judgment from the church? Lots. And sure, these people are *just* a radio station, not a church (seriously), but still, that is just a lie. We don't earn salvation, we don't earn grace, love or mercy. It's ask and receive, there is no maybe about it.

So, believe the world is ending on any day that you want. I don't care. Maybe I'll adjust my plans....or you know, MAYBE NOT, but hear this: God's love is already yours and forgiveness is a prayer away. 

If you want to talk more about love and forgiveness, shoot me an email. If you want to tell me how funny I am, leave a comment. If you think my posts make more sense when I'm not punchy-tired, don't worry I already know. If you want to convince me that the world is ending on XYZ date, save your breath.

For My Eyes Only

I went to an organized playdate recently. I'm not really a playdate kind of a mom. I'm more like...come on over and let's drink coffee and let the kids run wild. I don't do well in groups, I suck at small talk, I don't know what to say about "how's it going?" and I worry about what is going to happen. I'm not worried about tantrums, or my kids growling at me instead of talking, or being mean to someone. I am competent to handle that, that's typical preschool stuff, and really I'm at my parenting best in public because you know people are watching. (Shallow, but true.) 


The kids ran and played. I tried to talk with a couple of people. I watched other people's kids act like preschoolers. I was able to see one of the woman that I had started to become friends with and that was nice. It was nice to be out of the house with the kids. It was nice to put on makeup. 


But I could see it happening. It started right away as soon as we got into the building and it continually got worse. I could see it and it hurt my heart. We've been together almost nine months and as soon as she was in an environment other than our home those 'orphanage behaviors' started to manifest. This is where I should be saying that this is another one of those situations that isn't about me, but is about my daughter's trauma. Consider it said. But all I could think about was "9 months and it has meant nothing". ,


Extra tension in her body, extra attitude in everything that she did, extra fear being the root of it all. Her eyes went all shifty, not like sneaky "shifty", but literally shifting back and forth as she tried to see everything at once without letting anyone see into her. 

She ran about the room and anyone who would look at her would think she was just running around and having fun. But I knew better. And then people would come up to me and say, "It looks like she's having fun. She's doing fine." 


And it did look like that, unless you knew her. Unless you could see it. 


They looked and they saw a little girl running wild and having a good time. I looked and saw a girl who couldn't enter into play with anyone else. I looked and saw a little girl asking for food from adults she didn't knew. Now, Peanut did that too, but it was still different. 


Peanut saw a table of food, saw I wasn't right there and his thought process went like this: Food! Anyone would give ME food. I'll just ask some for it. Mom would give me carrot sticks. These ladies will give me COOKIES!

Little Miss' thought process went like this: Food! I HAVE to get ANYONE to give me food. I'll just go smile and try to hold their hand. No one will think to feed me. I'll take care of it. 

I tried to physically connect with Little Miss a lot while we were there. I'd walk over to where she was and touch her cheek, kiss her, hug her, tug a curl, try to look in those eyes, try to get her to look into my eyes and see that she was safe, I was there, we were together. I was emotionally willing it into her brain. What I got back was a little electric eel zapping me with each touch. 


Other women looked and smiled and saw a little girl who was out of patience with her mom, who just wanted to play, who didn't want to be hassled, who just wanted to have fun. I looked and saw a little girl throwing boundaries up as fast as she could, who didn't want to be touched, who couldn't handle being loved, who didn't know how to connect in a healthy way, who couldn't relax. 


I reached out. She turned away. I smiled. She frowned. I held. She fussed. I reassured. She refused.


It was just sad. 

I've given up on explaining it to people while we're there. When people say, "Oh she's doing great", I don't have the heart to go through it all, to hash it, to point out how she can't look me in the eyes, how she doesn't want me to touch her, how she's not just "energetic", but that's she's basically frantic. 

It's just one of those things that I didn't expect Before. I didn't expect how easy it would be for me to see, how hard it would be for others NOT to see, how difficult it would be to see my daughter struggle with something that shouldn't be a struggle, how much all of it would hurt. 


I don't know what this post is about. It's not about garnering sympathy or commendations. It's not about bashing my daughter or even pitying her. It's just, I don't know, life I guess. Just a little bit of what's "normal" for us now.

Travel Plans

I've heard rumors that some of you don't think I'm crazy, or at least crazy enough so in an effort to prove to you that I am AT LEAST as insane as I claim to be I am going on a trip.

Just me. And Peanut. Well, and Little Miss. And we can't leave Pickle behind! The only person NOT coming is Andrew because he is smart (and employed).

I'm taking the kids on "vacation" to visit family.

We are FLYING.

No, we're not. Because I'm crazy, but I'm not stupid. Seriously. If I ever have to fly with all three kids by myself I'd force myself to survive until we were midair and then I would take my chances (and my parachute) and find out if those cushions can really be used as a flotation device.

So, we're not flying, nor are we taking a race car or a rocket (which were Peanut's suggestions). We will be sticking to the "trusty" family minivan.

We are going home to visit my parents and two of my sisters and my two nephews and my niece, and my Gram. My Gram is not very healthy so I want her to have another chance to see my kiddos while she can still enjoy their insanity. I'm planning to get together with Katy and I'm excited about that. I want to meet her kids and I want to hold her baby and kiss all over him because "awww, babies!" I call my kids babies, but they're not the real thing. Stupid posers. I'll see a few other friends, but mostly I'll see family since a) I didn't have that many friends and b) the ones I did have were smart and left town. lol.

The trip requires 7 hours of driving. We will be leaving after Peanut's first ever little class. He's taking swim lessons because I am anti-drowning.

Realistic Plan: We leave the house at noon and get to my parents' by midnight. This is the plan that actually accommodates the small children I'm traveling with, lets them out of the van a few times, and figures everything going wrong in true Zehlahlum style because why wouldn't everything go wrong? (Maybe I should get AAA...) Also included in the realistic plan is me driving the entire time with earbuds in while the children scream from their seats and refuse to sleep.

Delusional Optimistic Plan: We leave the house by noon and get to my parents' around 9pm. This is the plan that thinks my children will sleep during conventional times like NAPTIME and BEDTIME thus allowing me to actually drive for several hours continually. I listen to my ipod at a non-deafening volume and the children play quietly and snooze like the little sweethearts that they've got somewhere inside of them. In this plan also is the thought that they will nap first thing because it will be naptime, and then when they wake up (two hours) we'll stop for a potty break, please God, at a Starbucks! We'll drive until between 5 and 5:30, stop for dinner and fill up with gas. Drive for another hour or 90 minutes and make our FINAL stop of the night. We'll empty those little bladders, put jammies on, (hand out melatonin....) put the toys away, play one of their bedtime cds (I'll have my ipod and will not be listening), and declare it bedtime. They will fall asleep and I will drink the Starbucks (that I have prayerfully manifested into my van) and I'll finish the drive to my parents house in peace and happiness.

Anyone want to place any bets? :)

Here are a few of the things that I have planned to take advantage of...well, nothing, but to I guess make the most of...well, nothing, maybe just to get us all there in one piece.

1. Stock up on snacks before we leave. This has nothing to do with saving money, it's all about saving sanity. Generally on car trips we stop at a gas station: Andrew pumps the gas. I go inside, use the bathroom, and buy anything that we "need". The kids stay strapped in. Then we divide and conquer the kids from there. This results in everyone using the bathroom, but at one adult in the bathroom with one child at a time, making any purchases, stretching legs, no one having to stand in line with kids, and back into the car in a minimal amount of time: 15-20 minutes. But, I will be by myself. I simply refuse to take all three kids into a nasty gas station bathroom simultaneously and then stand in line to buy drinks or snacks or coffee. It just can't happen. Gas stations will be for fueling up only. Pay at the pump. No kids out of the car. 

2. Potty breaks. These will happen at fast food restaurants or if Mommy is really lucky Starbucks. Go in. EVERYONE goes potty/has a diaper changed. Then you get back in the car and go through the drive-thru. Do not stand in lines. (If I had to stand in line with my kids to get into Heaven I might just ask to go to Hell...)

3a. Dinner. We will go to "Old McDonald's" for dinner. I am already hyping this to Peanut who thinks that it takes "forever" to drive 12 minutes to church. Part of the hype is one of my best parenting lies EVAH!!!!! A car picnic! A car picnic is when we go through the drive thru and then they "get" to eat while they are strapped into their carseats. (When I do this at home on desperate days we sit in a parking lot with wifi....) Anyway, my foolish children think this is AMAZINGLY FUN!!

3b. Fast Food Playlands. If at dinner time we come to a fast food restaurant that has a "playland" then I will take the kids inside and just tell them that it's "Old McDonald's" since they don't really understand brands yet. :) Here's the trick. They go play and burn off precious energy. I slump in my seat in defeat. If they're doing okay and the restaurant wasn't busy I'd go order my food and eat while they play. Then, after a little while. I load them back up and we go through the drive-thru for their food and revert to 3a. It is critical that they don't know this portion of the plan even exists though because otherwise you'll hear about it for hours. 

4a. New Toys. One evening this week I will go to the Dollar Store and I'll buy them each a couple little things that I will have anointed with oil and blessed by the Pope and pray that they will be entertained by these things. I'm thinking a few new crayons and a coloring book for Little Miss, little vehicles for the boys, random little non-noisy things like that. I will also go through the toys that have been rotated out to our storage and bring back some of those.

4b. Old Toys. Tomorrow I will go through their stuff and I will confiscate  pack some of their favorite toys that would be good for the car: Peanut's Leapster 2, magna-doodles, etch-a-sketch, some "lift the flap" books that Little Miss likes, and things like that. These items will be placed away, but in plain sight, where they will look and long for the next 4 days while I say things like, "That will be SO FUN to play with in the van!" Mwwaaaahaaaahaaaa!

5. Live and learn. Usually Andrew drives and I'm in the passenger seat so I can mediate fights, console the crying, pick up accidentally dropped items, and toss back provisions/new toys as needed. This time, obviously, I'm going to be driving so that can't happen. They will each have a little bag with a few toys, a sippy cup, a little snack, etc, but when it's consumed/dropped/gone IT IS GONE. All the screaming in the world is not going to help. I will turn up my ipod and keep on driving. The exception to this would be blankies and Pickle's muffle because they would honestly scream the entire time and they won't sleep without them. So I'd make them suffer for a short while and then pull over and help them out. Except for those things their little goody bags will be refilled after each stop.


So, that's what I've got so far.... Honestly, I don't really care if they cry. I will drown them out. I'm more concerned with staying awake. I have a previous history of having a hard time staying awake while I'm driving. I haven't had any trouble with it in the last few years because I don't usually roadtrip by myself. So, that's why I'm so focused on getting my Starbucks!

As far as the trip back to "here" goes, I know that will be harder. We'll leave early on Friday morning so there won't really  be much if any sleeping because my kids have NEVER EVER EVER been car nappers. We do have a portable DVD player which I'll take and not use on the way there. I'm not sure if there's a way to set it up that all of them will be able to see though.

The other potential gigantic obstacle is traffic. The traffic in this metropolitan area where I live is abysmal. It's not abnormal for traffic just to stop, for no reason, for extended periods of time. It's seriously hell on earth.  There really isn't any reason there SHOULD be traffic on these days, but you just never can tell. Again, I would expect this to be a lot worse coming back than leaving.

Any suggestions for me? :) like chill out....

My Thoughts on Valentine's Day

Ha ha! This is not a censored version so kick the kiddos out of the room. 'Nuff said. (no, I don't really want to die. Don't be so literal. It's about the spirit of the song.)

MamaEnat Blanket:

This is just a shameless quick blurb for the blankets that I sell.


I currently have a small Ethiopian flag blanket for sale. I just finished it tonight while I was decompressing from trying to convince my four year old to stay in bed. (Why is that so hard?!)

The cost is $40.00 including priority mail shipping and it is ready to ship. 

This one has a bright sunshine yellow minky on the back. I'm not typically a fan of yellow, but I love this fabric. It's not wimpy pastel it's a nice bold yellow. This would be perfect for a boy or girl. 

 First come, first serve.

:)




SOLD. THANKS!

Bound to Come Some Trouble

All due credit and love to Rich Mullins. This is the song that I looped on repeat last night when I went to bed. Yes, one song all night long. I was hoping maybe I could get it to sink through my hard head.