Selective Listening

Welcome to Diet Zehlahlum! The Saturday feature that from the Zehlahlum Family that you love because it's not your life! Diet Zehlahlum is "lite" on stress, seriousness, and thought. Please note that the title Diet Zehlahlum makes no guarantee that you will lose weight while reading. In fact, we recommend that if you want to lose weight you step away from the computer AFTER reading this post and try some jumping jacks or something.

Today's Diet Zehlahlum is all about learning when to listen and when not to. 

Enjoy.

Doubts

I think one of the things that is so hard about dealing with attachment disorders is that it makes you question your own sanity and your ability to parent.

When people tell you all the time:

She is so sweet.
She was so good.
She is so funny.
She is so nice.
We had so much fun.
Oh, I think that's normal behavior for kids at this age.
All kids have fits.
Little girls are just like that.
My kids did that too.
She's just independent.
You worry too much.

It makes you start to doubt yourself. 

Am I crazy?
Is it me?
Would she be 'normal' in a different house?
Does she have these problems because I can't get my crap together?
Is this my fault?
Am I doing more harm than good with how I'm parenting her?
Did I create these so called issues?

And at this point, over a year into this gig, I can hear myself asking those questions and I can tell myself that the answer to all of those questions is probably NO. The process of asking of wondering is still painful though.

It doesn't matter how many times you get raked over the coals you are still going to burn and blister.

Empowered to Connect Conference

I am going to the Empowered to Connect Conference in September!

I am about 300 kinds of happy. 

I want to know who else is going!

I'd love to have a chance to meet you, hug your neck, and hear your story.

I'm really really excited. 

First, this is probably going to be when I meet my Chrissy for the first time. 

Second, hey, weekend away from home!

Third, so much wisdom!!!

I do really wish that Andrew could come with me.
"Attachment therapy" didn't work out for us, but I think this could be good for us.
Let me just be honest since that's my gig:

If I could fold Karyn Purvis up and stick her in my suitcase on the way home I totally would.
We're currently working on employing her techniques more consistently and thoroughly with Boohoo
because I think that this is the technique that holds the "secret" to separating the girl from the trauma.
So Miss Karyn, if you're reading this...please come home with me!

Sorry, back to everyone who is reading this and is not Karyn Purvis
which would be all my readers... lol
Her book, "The Connected Child" is on just about every adoptive parent reading list I've ever seen and really I think this applies and should be the basis of any parenting. It's just harder and more important with children who were adopted.

Jamey's Review of "The Connected Child"
I just re-reviewed my review and what I mentioned as the only con I totally "get" know. I might need to re-review since you know I actually have adopted a child now. Amazing the perspective that can give you.

Another thing that I really like about Karyn Purvis is that she is a believer and while this is not referenced in her book (so no worries if you're not) there is a separate study guide that you can download that expounds on these Biblical truths. You know why I like this? Because it's about parenting Biblically...
full of grace, truth, compassion, and truth
no intimidation or threats required.

Rehash!

1. I'm going to the Empowered to Connect conference in September.
2. If you're going (and you should) I want to meet you.
3. Karyn Purvis rocks my world.
4. This conference is going to kick my butt.

Wishful Shopping

I have to say that I've been pretty impressed with some of the toys that I've seen advertised for kids this summer. We get a few kid catalogs that I think generally have high-quality toys: Fisher Price, One Step Ahead/Leaps and Bounds, and Little Tikes. Hmmm, I just realized that I also really like Step 2, but I'm not getting anything from them. I'll have to check on that.

While the kids could use (and will probably get) one or two new "outside toys" here is my entire wishlist of cool summertime toys.

1. Way cool sandbox : Last year we had a sand/water table, but it's nowhere near big enough and the kids would rather dig in the dirt by the driveway, which is washed down the street/alley every time it rains. Nasty. This is obviously my choice for all three of them.

2. Foot Powered Motorcycle: It is almost impossible to have too many ride-ons and bikes for my children. I'd say it's almost an even split between dirt-digging and vehicle riding. Pickle would go NUTS for this. 





3. 3 Stage Skateboard: Peanut has been asking for a skateboard for a LONG time. I think it would be good for some of his sensory issues and I love the safety features. This also reminds me that he needs a new helmet! To be totally honest I'm a bit disappointed with Fisher Price since my choices are to buy this blue one (no problems there), but the "girl skateboard" (who knew there was such a thing) isn't just pink, but it's BARBIE. Ugh. No thanks. What about red, orange, green, yellow...couldn't there be two bright fun colored skateboards without it being a 'boy' and 'girl' one? And for the record all of their girl versions of skateboards, rollerblades, scooters, bikes, etc are all Barbie themed. :(  So yeah, I'd love to have this for Peanut, but I would *Not* buy any of it for Boohoo.



4. Tricycle Boohoo needs her own ride.




Well, that's my nearly realistic wishlist: something for everyone and something for sharing. There's lots of other stuff that I'd love to have for them: a wagon, a climber, a swingset...things like, but we have the lamest checkbook backyard space in the world so I'll just keep doing my online window shopping.

What about you? Any cool summer toys making an appearance at your house soon?