2011 Good Posts Not Elsewhere Mentioned

I’m wrapping up the 2011 repeat posts, but I hope that you’ve found some new content that you missed before or were able to enjoy something again. The next post up will hopefully be some Christmas pictures (better late than never!) and then the first real post of the year will be my Second Annual Installment of Things I Don’t Resolve!

1. Life of a 20 Something: My storybook goodbye to my 20s, the decade that went nothing like it was “supposed” to and yet gave me everything that I love in my life.

2. 10 Not-Resolutions: This is last year’s list and looking back I can say that I’ve had a very successful year!

3. Travel Posts 9, 10 part 1 and 10 part 2: These were so hard for me to re-read, harder to write, and hardest of all to live through them the first time. I’m including them here because truly this is where we started and we’ve come a long way since then.

4. Innocent Brainwashing: The first time I really freak out about/talk about sexism and race with my babies.

5. Love Takes All: This is something that I think PAPs need to know. There’s loving your kid and then there’s loving your kid who doesn’t love you.

6. Name It and Claim It: My beef with some Christians who are adopting.

7. Wait. What? Huh?! Therapeutic Parenting: My infamous adoption agency slogan and rampage about how we need to be ready to deal with our hurting kids and expect them to come home hurting.

8. She’s In There: My surprise at a peek into my daughter’s real personality and not the constant façade of LOOK AT ME/BUT DON’T GET CLOSE TO ME!

9. Acting Like a Fool: I actually needed to read this again. And yes, this could be the name of blog, but it isn’t. This is my list of ways to change the direction of Boohoo’s mood without being all anal about it (because that doesn’t actually work)

10. Calling Parents of Traumatized Kids: This is something that I’ve done this year that I’m proud of! I’ve started this facebook group for moms of kids with attachment challenges. Our kids are all over the spectrum and so are our preferred methods, but we are all working to help our children heal. It’s a smallish group still and it is very supportive and encouraging. If you’re struggling, please know that you are not alone and come check us out!

My House

I read a Bible verse the other day that really struck me. It was short, simple, and illustrative…which is about what something needs to be in order for me to remember it. (So, maybe instead of sending me that long email you should just color me a picture.)

Proverbs 14:1 “The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.”

I wrote it down as my memory verse for the week (on this very cool planner that I downloaded from A Holy Experience) and the more that I read it the more that it sinks into my heart and hopefully from there it will seep into my life.

I’ll freely admit that I don’t really know what I’m doing as a stay-at-home-mom and I’ve been making it up as I go along with more success at some times than others. I turned thirty this year (as we talked about at great length) and while I have a vision of what I want for myself, for my family. I feel a bit lost as to how to get there. We are really in the foundational years of establishing our family, our parenting, the baseline in our children’s hearts, my husband’s career, wondering what I’m ever going to do, and at the same time reaching out and un-isolating ourselves a bit. When I hear the phrase “builds her house” I think about all of those things. Obviously, I’m not building a house literally, but these really are building years in my life right now.

So the last few days I’ve had that soft check in my heart that has allowed to hear my voice when I’m talking to my children, that has nudged me when I need to be doing something productive instead of vegetating all evening. Conversely, it’s told me at times that the evening would probably go better if I’d just lay down at naptime with the kids, that it’s a good use of my time to incorporate a reading and snuggling session just for Peanut, and then a whisper into my heart that said that Boohoo needed more snuggling too. These are the things that build my house. And so I can ask myself when I’m stuck between the couch or the kitchen… “is one of these building my house?” And if so, then that’s the direction I need to go.

I’ve not always been quite so on the ball though. There have certainly been moments (in these post-holidays-behavior-fall-out days) that I’ve spoken calmly, spoken calmly, spoken LOUDLY, and then just yelled. And into my head has popped this image of a crazy woman standing outside her own house and ripping bricks off the sides. And I can say to myself, “Self, that was tearing your house down.” And sometimes my self has shaped up then, but not every time….

The other part to that says, “with her own hands” and that’s brutally true. Even as a responsible adult it’s so easy for me to blame blame blame someone else when I screw up. After all, I wouldn’t yell if they would listen and I wouldn’t snark and roll my eyes if my husband would just whatever. I want to convince myself that they are the ones tearing my house down. But the truth is, I’m responsible. It’s with my own hands that I chose that bad attitude, hurtful voice, harsh words, angry eyes, ungrateful heart, etc.

And I don’t expect to be perfect and I haven’t been beating myself up over my mistakes. Bricks can be put back into the wall. It doesn’t say that the wise woman sits on the front step kicking back with some lemonade. It says she’s building her house and you don’t build something that’s already built, so she must do a little tearing down here and there or else she wouldn’t need to be building.

All this to say, I’ve been keeping in mind especially with these little kiddos, with my husband, my friends, my choices about what to do with my life, every interaction that I have is either building up or tearing down. The decision is in my hands: build up or tear down, wise or foolish.

 

How’s your house as we approach 2012?

2011 Top 10 Most Commented Posts

Yesterday I posted some posts that I really liked that didn’t get much comment-love. Today, we’re going the opposite direction and I’m re-sharing the posts that you guys all commented on the most. I hope you can read something you missed, enjoy a favorite again, or roll your eyes and go read someone with new content. It’s okay.  

10 Most Commented Posts of 2011

1. Money & Adoption

2. Caw caw squawk silence

3. Don’t Ask Don’t Tell

4. Nothing but the Truth

5. Empowered

6. Adoption Grinch

7. Tonight

8. Knock on Wood

9. Good Day/Mean Post Anyway

10.  8 months, 2 days Update

2011: 10 Neglected Posts

This is, as you might guess nothing more than a list of 10 posts that I liked that felt a little overlooked when they were published. So posts are just so fragile!

1. Nosy Questions in Adoption: A guest post I did for a friend on better ways for people to ask their questions…or not!

2. Time for a Career Change: The dangers of plumbing and technology.

3. Dueling ABCs:  This one was actually well-received, but I just like it so much that I’m posting it here for anyone who might have missed it the first time.

4. Tells: How my musical tastes have changed since bringing Boohoo home.

5. For Those Who Hurt: Because life isn’t easy for any of us

6. The Beach: My prayer when life starts to hurt too much

7. From the Mouths of Babes: Funny things that my kids say that I remembered to write down

8. The Inappropriate Post: Just another dinner with my family

9. The Unfair Difference: The story of how my son got the flu, was sick enough to be in trouble without us knowing it, and then got better.

10. Before: The way I used to parent, the way I want to be again