Everyone else is setting forth in 2012 with shiny hope and sparkly eyes to bettering their lives through self-denial, delusion, and vague goals of changing everything about them from the cellular level on up. Me? Not so much. If you’re a resolution person that’s fine, I don’t mind at all. I’ve made resolutions before and I’m certainly not against goals. I get so much more done when I set goals for myself. I just like to center it around my birthday instead of this weird cult-like “Everybody do it now! Quick! Don’t THINK about it!” This is all just in good fun.
Here are my 2012 Not-Resolutions
1. I do not resolve to eat healthier. Hence the pizza for dinner tonight. Although, my kids might have un-resolved this stronger than I did because MAN they put that pizza away tonight. It was ferocious.
2. I do not resolve to fall in love this year. I did that once and now a decade later and I’m still not out of it!
3. I do not resolve to stop smoking because I’ve yet to start.
4. I do not resolve to spend less time on facebook, email, or twitter, or working on my blog. Nay! I will do more! (I’m not saying I “resolve” to do it because that would kind of break the point of this whole non-serious post. I’m just saying if I feel like it I will. Or not. I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.)
5. I do not resolve to do more or more timely housekeeping chores around the house. Why raise that bar?
6. I do not resolve to stop wanting an iphone or a tablet because technology is cool! And I need those?
7. I do not resolve to stop laughing *at* my kids when they say something funny, shout something ridiculous in anger, or fall down (so long as they are not very hurt) because life is either laugh or cry!
8. I do not resolve to stop reading the blogs that make me angry/jealous/shout at the computer because that seems like a fairly benign way to vent my frustrations.
9. I do not resolve to learn another language because I’m still mad that I’m not conversational in Spanish yet. I don’t know why I can’t just be magically imbued with enhanced Spanish speaking ability.
10. I do not resolve to suddenly archive, print, scrapbook, or otherwise enshrine every picture I’ve ever taken of my children. Although, really, if someone wanted to do this for me I’d really appreciate it!!