Weight Watchers Week One

I wrote yesterday about why I joined Weight Watchers. To sum up, I want to be healthier. That’s it. Nothing fancy, desperate, or shocking just me gettin' healthy.

What are you doing? Because misery loves company I’d love to have you getting healthier right along with me!

So, here’s my word for the first week: Eye-opening

There were apparently a lot of crossed wires between what I thought I was eating and what I was actually eating. And the wires were not crossed in my favor. I also probably owe Stress an apology. I’ve been blaming a lot of weight gain on him and it turns out that maybe I should have spread some of that blame over to Dire Lack of Vegetables and Excessive Intake of Salty Crunchy Snacks. Because, wow.

The hardest part food wise was definitely realizing that I’m hardly eating any vegetables (I’m chalking that up to winter time and not enough prep time) and that I really like my snacks in the evening. I’m also at a bit of a loss in the morning. I do not like breakfast food. Never have.  I’m not sure what to eat. Milk and cereal is not something that I usually buy because it’s expensive and not really appealing. Eggs skeeve me out, but I’ve developed a salsa scrambled egg that the kids and I both like a couple times a week. I despise oatmeal, but I make it frequently for the kids.

Dinner has been okay. I think it will be better this week. I joined spur of the moment which means that it was after I did grocery shopping so I was kinda at the mercy of what I had bought when I wasn’t planning on losing weight. This week I was able to plan ahead. I did not find the site particularly easy to use to help me plan, but I got it worked out. But, I usually fix fairly healthy dinners and so that wasn’t too bad last week. Again, I need to up the veggies as side dishes too. I’ve been eating leftovers at lunch or a can of Progresso Soup. I love Progresso Soup and it’s super easy with the  points printed right on the label!

Let’s talk about being active. I know this is going to be my downfall. Aside from I do during the day: taking care of the kids, some cleaning, daily life. I’m not active. I know I need to be. I want to be. I just don’t do it. I hate it. It’s hard to fit it in. So I don’t. This is going to be a life-skill and I need to learn it. This will be my challenge.

What have I liked the most so far? I like the way the point system is set up. I thought it was going to be restrictive, but what it does is make me think. I’m not just mindlessly following or rebelling something that someone else set up. I’m looking at the data and making my own choices. It’s empowering…even if I wish I didn’t have to decide myself! It’s a really flexible system and I think definitely something that can be sustained over the long haul. I love the emphasis on being healthy. It’s not about eating the same bowl of cereal for two meals a day for two weeks, or eating something tiny and pre-portioned just to meat a goal, or buying a million things that I don’t usually eat. It’s really about real life and making this life that I’m living right now move me farther along toward my goals.

My first week I lost 1.4 pounds. I’m happy enough with that. I would have liked to see just a little bit more because I felt like I was working hard and who doesn’t want to get started with a bang? On the other hand, with my increased awareness of my eating habits, I’m very happy that I lost that much.

So who has some tips for me? Something that’s not nasty for breakfast? Salty snacks that stop short of being 3/4 of a bag of lime tortilla chips? An easy lunch that I can throw together? And how in the world do you find time to exercise?

I joined Weight Watchers

Oh yes, I did. The subtitle of this post could be: On Being Embarrassed and Getting Over It.

Tomorrow will be my first week. I’m doing the online gig because of the whole “I have three kids between the ages of 3-5” thing.  So, let’s dissect this.

Embarrassed: Don’t you know that SuperMom isn’t fat? I harbor no illusions that I am or ever will be SuperMom because I hate crafts. Still, everyone knows that as a stay at home mom I should always be cooking healthy and nutritious food and disguising vegetables as chocolate muffins that my children love. I should have joined a gym with free childcare, or for women only, or be in a mom’s walking club, or take my kids on family hikes, or do family yoga, or be rocking it at Zumba at 5am before my kids wake up. Whatever it is, I should be doing better than this. Promoting the frumpy SAHM persona is a little embarrassing, although I maintain it’s less embarrassing than me in a Zumba class. I know that my health is important, that I’m a role model for my kids (for better or worse) and that I should make myself a priority.

The other part of this equation that makes me feel embarrassed is that I know these things, but I’m not getting them done. Since I know all of that that stuff I should reform myself. But really, what I want, what I think we women think we should be able to do, is just zap ourselves to the goal. Since I know that I should be healthy, active, and fit I should just be able to be that. I should step into my phonebooth, twirl around, and come out that way. It shouldn’t be a process it should be an event. I should be able to will myself healthy, active, and fit, as if it’s a one-time act of will power. But I’m a little lacking in the willpower/miracle department as it turns out and somehow this amounts to feeling embarrassed.  And when you know something and you’re not doing it, well, it’s a little embarrassing. At least for me, in this regard. Other things I’m more than willing to flip the bird and carrying on without caring about.

The Other Side of Embarrassed: This one is a little weird. On one hand I feel guilty for not being in good enough shape, healthy enough, fit enough, etc, but on the other hand I feel bad because I’m not in that bad of shape. I’m not obese, I don’t need to be on the Biggest Loser, and aside from maybe needing a Lime Tortilla Chip intervention I’m not in desperate circumstances. I know that other women would love to be my size, I know that I’m not fat, and really I don’t have (much) of a body image problem.  I’m technically a “normal” size. I wear a 12, okay? And I’m not even out of what is the “normal” weight for my height. I’m 5’7. I don’t want to promote the idea that real women don’t enjoy food, are super skinny, wear a size 2, and spend six hours a day exercising. I don’t want to say that anyone else shouldn’t be happy at a size 12 or shouldn’t accept that there are periods of life when mom’s exercise routine isn’t top of the radar or on the radar. I don’t want to say anything about anyone else. This is just for me.

But here’s my truth:

1. My family tree isn’t that healthy. I can’t change the tree, but I can prune my own branches and train the little vines that are following me. (Enough metaphor now)

2. I’ve basically been gaining weight since Peanut was born. Both times I lost most of my baby weight and mostly fit back into my previous clothes size, but the numbers have been on a steady, if slow, climb upwards. The most significant part has happened in the last 18 months, but it’s not a new trend.

3. I have never had a long-lasting exercise program. I’ve never been a particularly active person. I played basketball as a kid, softball through high school, and I ran (the world’s slowest) 5k when Peanut was 15 months old or so. I have a bum knee. I don’t like to exercise. I do, however, always love that feeling that I get when I actually get myself out the door to walk/run.

4. I have firmly entrenched Stress Habits and rather loosey-goosey Healthy Habits and maybe a hard time with cause and effect. lol

5. I can be healthy and still be me. In fact, I’m going to postulate that if I am more healthy, more fit, more active, and more purposeful in the choices that I make then I will be even more me. That’s what this is about, not about being someone else, or a different version of me, or even the best me. Nope, it’s about being ME, the same me, just MORE of ME!

So yeah, you can expect to be hearing more about this for awhile.