A New 4 Letter Word

There’s a new 4 letter word that has taken up residence and my brain is starting to take root. I feel like it’s been put there by God or at least he is confirming it to me so it’s probably not one of the 4 letter worlds that you’re thinking that I’m thinking. I don’t want to leave you with dirty words hanging out in your brain so I’ll just share it with you.

 

Mend

That’s a pretty good one, huh? I don’t remember where the first place that I heard it and it caught my attention was, but I remember that when I heard it I thought about it for a minute and just felt a little sigh of contentment in my soul, the word “mend” and I had a specially little moment together. Then I heard it in a song. Then I read it in a book, “Torn” by Jud Wilhite, (and I’ll have more to say about this book later). Then I heard it in a totally different song. Then I found and read my Bible and randomly started in Jeremiah 31 and while it doesn’t actually use that word I think you could make a case for it being the theme of the chapter anyway. It was so reassuring and promising that I’ve read it every day since that first time.

I’ve been making plans for this summer (and I believe summer to be June 1-August 31 without regard for what the calendar tells me because I’m wild like that) and my plans have a lot to do with mending (little and big) hearts that have been torn over the last 25 months. I hadn’t thought of the plans in light of “mending” until I heard the word the other day, but really, that’s the goal.

I had high hopes for these plans according to what I wanted to see by the end of the summer, but I was also nervous because things haven’t gone that smoothly since we brought Boohoo home. It’s just been hard, followed by more hard, topped off with more hard and the result has been torn hearts, rips in our family, stretched seams, fraying hems, and outright holes in some places. We need some relief and even as I was planning and trying to get that for us, I was afraid because disappointment hurts. We know that you don’t always get what you want even when you pray for it and it would seem to make sense. Just because my plans were pointed toward mending and restoring us doesn’t mean that’s what we’d get, we could just get another dose of hard and so sometimes that makes it easier (not right) to aim for nothing because we can hit that.

But now, I have a little more confidence, more confidence than I’ve had in a few months because God keeps bringing the word “mend” around. It feels like it’s confirming my plans, my desire, the pull of my heart to restore my family. We are ready to be mended.

Ecclesiastes 3:1,7a

“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to tear and a time to mend….”

A brief vision

I normally only see what’s in front of me…except for when I don’t see it and I walk straight into a pole or something, but luckily that hasn’t happened ever for awhile. I don’t normally hallucinate. I don’t normally have visions either. I might have had one today though.

I looked at the table and I gasped (out loud) because this is what was in front of me. It wasn’t the mess that surprised me. Messes rarely surprise me these days.

But what I “saw” was a table with three “big kids” around it and instead of playdough the table was scattered with papers, books, backpacks, and the clutter that will be three simultaneous teenagers and then I saw three “grown children” and a table full of coats, wallets, a purse, and an infant seat for my grandchild. I know it’s crazy, but it just might be going that fast. I don’t believe in savoring every moment because seriously, I had poop on my arm this weekend, but I might love this picture of sweetness for the rest of my life. No matter what it feels like day in and day out when they are this age they are getting badder bigger every day.